Okay, straight up—free college in the US is trending harder than whatever TikTok dance my little cousin is doing right now, and I’m over here in my sweaty hoodie losing my actual mind.
I’m parked outside a Taco Bell in Columbus, Ohio, crunching on a Doritos Locos taco that’s leaking orange grease onto my jeans, and my phone just lit up with the CNN notification: “House passes landmark free college bill.” I legit dropped my taco. Like, full-on slow-motion, it splattered across my passenger seat while I stared at the screen whispering “no freaking way” like some budget movie trailer.
Why Free College in the US Just Broke My Brain
Look, I’m 29. I still owe $38,472 for a two-year degree that I never finished because I had to choose between rent and textbooks. True story: sophomore year I sold plasma twice a week just to buy ramen and printer paper. One time I passed out in the donation chair and woke up to a nurse asking if I wanted a cookie. I cried into that cookie, y’all.
So when I say this federal free college bill feels like God personally Venmo-requested me, I’m not exaggerating.
What the Bill Actually Says (I Read It So You Don’t Have To)
- Community college = 100% free for everyone starting fall 2027
- Four-year public universities free for families making under $125k
- Pell Grants now cover books, laptops, AND rent (yes, RENT)
- They’re canceling up to $50k in existing debt for anyone who went to a school that’s now tuition-free
I had to pull over again after reading that last bullet because I started ugly-sobbing so hard I fogged up my windows. Full bill text here on Congress.gov
My Hot Mess Plan If Free College in the US Actually Happens
- Finish my nursing degree (I’ve got 18 credits left, people)
- Never eat another 39-cent packet of chicken-flavored seasoning as “soup” again
- Frame my first debt-free statement and hang it above my bed like a damn medal
But also… I’m low-key terrified. What if I’m too old? What if I walk into class and everyone’s 18 and I’m the creepy aunt with the Target jeans and trauma? Whatever. I’ll bring homemade cookies and own it.
The Part Where I Get Real About the Haters
Yeah, yeah, I’ve seen the comments: “Nobody deserves free college!” Cool, Karen from Facebook University, tell that to the kid working three jobs who just wants to be a teacher. I used to be that kid. I still am that kid, just with more wrinkles and credit card debt.
Anyway. The rain just started smacking my windshield like it’s personally offended, and I’m sitting here grinning like an idiot because for the first time in ten years I feel… light?
Your Move, Bestie
If you’re reading this while eating sad cereal for dinner because rent is due—DM me. Seriously. We’re gonna celebrate when this thing passes the Senate. I’ll buy the cheap champagne and we’ll scream-cry in another parking lot together.
Free college in the US isn’t a handout. It’s a “sorry we screwed you, here’s a ladder” and I’m climbing it in my greasy taco-stained jeans, crying the whole way up.
Drop your debt horror story below. I read every single one. Let’s be broke together until we’re not.
