2025 presidential candidates on cryptocurrency—there, said it right out the gate because I’m still shaking from last night’s doom-scroll. I’m hunched over my tiny Brooklyn kitchen table, radiator hissing like it’s mad at me, and my phone’s cracked screen keeps buzzing with price alerts. I spilled half my coffee trying to screenshot Trump’s latest crypto tweet, and now my sweatpants smell like regret and hazelnut. This stuff hits different when you’ve lost rent money to a rug pull.
Why 2025 Presidential Candidates on Cryptocurrency Keep Me Up at Night
Look, I’m no expert. I’m the guy who once bought Dogecoin because a meme made me laugh at 2 a.m. But these stances? They’re gonna decide if my sad little hardware wallet becomes a retirement plan or a museum piece. Last week I tried explaining Bitcoin to my dad over FaceTime. He thought I said “Big Coin.” I gave up and sent him a pizza instead.
Here’s the thing: I love the freedom. Self-custody? Chef’s kiss. But I also remember the panic when my exchange froze withdrawals during a dip. Heart racing, palms sweaty, refreshing the page like a lunatic. So when politicians talk crypto, I listen hard—because one wrong rule and poof, my side hustle’s toast.
Quick reality check: CoinDesk’s 2024 crypto election guide—saved me from a few dumb moves.
Trump: From “Scam” to “Stack Sats”
Remember when Trump called Bitcoin a scam? I do. I was eating cereal in my underwear, nodding like, “Yeah, old man’s got a point.” Fast forward: he’s promising a national Bitcoin reserve, firing the SEC chair, and freeing Silk Road guy. Wild flip.
I watched his speech in a bar. Place smelled like stale beer and hope. Crowd went nuts when he said “crypto president.” I cheered, then checked my portfolio. Up 3%. Felt like winning the lottery and finding a coupon.
But I’m skeptical. What if it’s just hype? I’ve been burned by pump-and-dumps before. Advice: Don’t YOLO on rally days. I did. Cried into a burrito.
- Wants U.S. to dominate mining
- Hates CBDCs (same, bro)
- Day-one executive order for innovation
Harris: Rules, But Make It Fair
Harris was quiet at first. Then—bam—campaign pivot. She’s talking “responsible framework,” protecting consumers while letting innovation breathe. Even name-dropped Black entrepreneurs in crypto. I was folding laundry when I saw the clip. Dropped a sock. Picked it up. Thought, “Huh. She gets it.”
I’m torn. Her rules might’ve saved me from that phishing scam last year (lost $60 and my dignity). But too many rules? Kills the magic. I like sending $5 to a friend in Venezuela without a bank. Don’t take that away.
Her plan feels like training wheels. I hate them, but I also crashed without them.
Check Politico’s take on her shift.
RFK Jr.: Blockchain BBQ Dreams
RFK is the uncle who shows up with a whiteboard and won’t leave. Wants the entire U.S. budget on blockchain. Dollar backed by Bitcoin. No capital gains tax on BTC. I heard him on a podcast while walking my dog. Dog pooped. I forgot to pick it up. Got fined. Worth it.
His transparency obsession? Hot. Imagine seeing where every tax dollar goes. But also… my guy, calm down. Not every hot dog stand needs a smart contract.
I tried his “tax-free” trick. Messed up the forms. IRS laughed. Lesson: Hire an accountant.
- Anti-CBDC warrior
- Blockchain for government spending
- Bitcoin as inflation hedge
The GOP Bench: DeSantis, Vivek, Haley
- DeSantis: Banned CBDCs in Florida. My kind of chaos.
- Vivek: Wanted a BTC reserve yesterday. Bold. Risky. I like it.
- Haley: Smart regs, not dumb ones. Safe. Boring. Fine.
Grades here: StandWithCrypto.
My Messy Takeaway (and Yours)
I’m finishing this with cold coffee and a headache. 2025 presidential candidates on cryptocurrency? It’s a circus. Trump’s got the fireworks, Harris the seatbelts, RFK the tinfoil hat. I’m all of them on different days.
Don’t be like me—research before you ape in. Start small. Use a hardware wallet. Vote like your portfolio depends on it (because it might).
What’s your worst crypto mistake? Drop it below. Let’s laugh/cry together. And hey—grab a coffee that doesn’t taste like battery acid. You deserve it.
Oh, and if you see a bald eagle in VR goggles? That’s just Tuesday.
