Rain’s hammering my Chicago window right now. I’m hunched over a gas-station coffee that tastes like burnt pennies, staring at my phone. Donald Trump 2.0 is back, and I’m the idiot who swore he was done.
Last summer I was flipping brats in my backyard, sweat dripping, laughing at the idea of a Trump comeback strategy. Told my buddy, “Twenty bucks says he’s toast.” He cashed in on victory tacos. I still owe him.
How the Comeback Strategy Actually Works
It’s not the old scream-fests. It’s trucker-hat TikToks and Rogan podcasts. I caught one stuck on the Dan Ryan, laughed so hard I almost rear-ended a Prius.
- Media dodge: Skips CNN, drops truth bombs on Spotify. Rogan episode here.
- Policy popcorn: Tariffs, energy, jobs—simple, loud, sticky. Brookings breakdown.
- Underdog glow: “They tried to bury me.” Hits home when you’ve been ghosted by a job you bombed.
My Dumb Predictions
Last winter, Cubs hoodie reeking of nachos, I scribbled a blog post (never published) calling Trump’s political shakeup a dud. Wrong.
At the VFW hall, vets in faded caps talked second Trump era like it was gospel. I rolled my eyes, spilled beer on an intern. Classic me.
Now I’m side-eyeing my own leaky faucet, wondering if tax cuts might finally fix it.
Wild Moments I Didn’t See Coming
- VP curveball—straight shooter, not circus act.
- Pop-up town halls that feel like block parties.
- World leaders sweating. CNN tracker.
Wrapping Up the Rant
Cat’s glaring from the fridge. Coffee’s cold. Donald Trump 2.0 is messy, loud, and—against every fiber of my snarky being—kinda working.
I was wrong. You might be too. Drop your own facepalm story below. Let’s talk.
